The Pre-Mommy Pile

So, my mom so kindly mailed me my ski clothes as it was questionable whether or not I would still fit into any or all of them. I had a feeling I'd be fine with my ski bibs and pants, all of which are rather puffy and forgiving, although a couple of them are rather short. However, the real question was whether or not I would fit in my super cute (or so I thought...think)stretch ski pants/leggings which I persuaded my parents to buy for me my senior year of high school for my dad and my Deer Valley bonding excursion.

And the verdict is in. After working out this afternoon and thinking that perhaps because I had worked out would make the pants fit better, I unpacked the box and voila the stretch pants were there. As I slipped my legs in, the calves fit nicely in there, the thighs were tight, but hey won't that just keep me warmer? As I surveyed my oh-so-hot sausage skin leggings, I thought to myself how great it was I could still fit in these--just wait till I show Wil, he won't believe it; oh, yeah and nevermind that hole that got ripped at the crotch seems after my first time using them (they might have been tight then too).

But then...dum dum dum...the waist absolutely positively would not come near to closing. I tugged and pulled and realized that even if I were able to buckle them, they might not ever come off. And so there ended my dream of being the cute ski-bunny in my tight (yet warm) ski leggings.

One might ask...Well, where did you put those pants? What did you do with them? Did you burn them in a fit of rage, while eating a delicious chocolate chip cookie? Perhaps you hung them on the refrigerator to remind yourself what happens when you have an extra beer or piece of cake?

Oh no, no, no my friend. Why, they go in the pile with my size 27 Seven jeans, the ones that made me feel so cool and stylish in high school. They go in the pile of clothes that I wore in high school somehow, before marriage happen and babies happened and college happened and consequentially an overall sagging, expanding, bloating process took place. It is the pre-mommy pile.

But, to prevent you from thinking of this as a self-deprecating post, I hope that yall will realize that this too will happen to you. You too will sag, expand, and bloat and start a pile of pre-mommy, pre-marriage, pre-life-just-happened-how-about-that clothes. And when you do, I'll be there with you, with a plate of fresh baked cookies!

PS: I sign off to watch a new favorite: Jon and Kate plus 8 on TLC, a constant reminder that if Kate can handle 8, I can handle 1.

PPS: As I search for a picture of my ski leggings, I cannot find one. This makes me think they must be out of style. This makes me feel better that they don't fit because then I won't be out of style on the slopes. HAH!